Part Five: Onehelluvawholelotta Bottles of Beer On The Wall, Onehelluvawholelotta beers…
The Man (aka Geoff) has kept a lid on something for a long time now, so I figured that while his back is turned, I’ll clue you folks in on it: Bailey’s has a bottle list.
“WHHHHAAAA???” you say?
Not so loud, I say. The Man might hear us. Let’s just keep it to whispers, ‘kay?
Despite the fact that our draft menu doesn’t mention bottles and that you have no reason to believe those bottles behind the bar counter are anything more than decoration, ala the bottles along the windowsills, it’s the honest-to-beer-god truth: we do, in fact, sell beer by the bottle. And, best of all, our selection actually stretches a little farther across the country than our tap list. For the geographically challenged out there, here’s a fun fact: the United States actually continues east of Washington, Oregon, and California and aside from the occasional stretch of No Beers Land (Mississippi comes to mind), contains some perfectly excellent breweries that you may have never heard of before.
Let’s just put it this way. If you haven’t indulged in a beer from Ommegang, Victory, Allagash, Jolly Pumpkin, Great Divide, and Avery (just to name a few of our inventory), you’ve been missing out on some excellent stuff. Fans of BIG beers—the stuff of double digit alcohol by volume percentages—and Belgian styles like Grand Cru, Tripel, Saison, or Quadrupel shouldn’t miss out on our selection, especially since we rarely, if ever, get those types of beer on tap.
Oh, and here’s another thing to keep in mind: if you’d rather take the bottle to go, we’ll brown bag it and offer you a discount off the bar price. On most bottles, we’ll take anywhere from 20% to 30% off the regular price for those beers you’d rather enjoy in the comfort of your own home… or outside around the corner in some smelly gutter somewhere.
So, now that you know about our secret bottle list, how do you go about ordering one of them the next time you stop in? Pay close attention to the pass phrase. Memorize it. Recite it to yourself in the mirror if you have to. Ready? Here it is: “Can I see your bottle list?”
Geoff (aka The Man) may get a little suspicious, but if you look him square in the eye without blinking, he might even dust off the cobwebs from the menu before he hands it to you.