The annual Portland Holiday Ale Festival is starting tomorrow, just down the street from Bailey’s at Pioneer Courthouse Square. If you’re planning on going, here are a few things to keep in mind:
1) Get there early in the day on a weekday. If you show up Friday night or Saturday evening, you’re going to spend so much time in line that you’ll start getting sober between drinks. And trust me, when you’re freezing your ass off in a tent swarming with obnoxious Gresham-ites hollering “WHOOOOO!!” every five minutes, you need to be suitably buzzed.
2) Don’t waste your tickets on “ordinary” holiday beers. Let’s face it: you can get the Brrr just about anywhere, ditto on the Jubelale. So why stand in line for something you could get somewhere else, for less money and less time waiting? Go for the specialty stuff you’ve never heard of before.
3) Go with the taster size. To get the best bang out of your buck, and to try the most beers, choose the $1 four oz pour instead of the $4 fourteen oz pour. You don’t have to be a mathematician to realize that’s the better deal. Plus, the volunteers filling your glass are more likely to over-serve than under-serve.
4) Get your liver in shape. These are big, crazy beers, my friend, so if you haven’t started training for it yet, come into Bailey’s tonight to get started. We’ve got some 7.5 percenters that should tone up your beer-processing organs in no time.
5) If the Holiday Ale Festival turns out to be a dud (or, more likely, an enormous pain in the ass), just remember: it’s a very short walk (or crawl) down to Bailey’s Taproom. We’ll be hosting our own little holiday festival by tapping the following beers over the course of the week:
- Russian River Pliny the Elder (currently on tap!)
- Anchor Christmas ’06 (currently on tap!)
- Alaskan Smoked Porter ’06
- Cascade Mouton Rouge
- Eel River Climax Noel
- Fish Old Woody
And, of course, we’ll also have plenty of other holiday-themed beers, like the Hopworks Abominable and Full Sail’s Wreck the Halls.
Enjoy the Holiday Ale Festival, and if you end up with extra tickets, donate them to a good cause: me!