Alright, let’s all say it together, in our best imitation Napoleon Dynamite whine:
“Why aren’t you guys open more often? GOD!!”
We were always of the opinion that we were open enough. Maybe not a lot, maybe not “often,” but enough. Then we busted out our calculators, our pen and paper, and our protractors (just for fun), and realized that the Taproom is closed a whopping 71% of the time. And being the noble, self-sacrificing, and (admittedly) profit-driven whores that we are, we decided that we could not let that stand.
So, effective today, Friday, June the 1st of the year 2012, in the surest sign yet of the impending apocalypse, Bailey’s will open its doors at 2 PM every weekday.
“But, wait! That’s not all! Tell ’em what they can get if they act now, Geoff!”
“Hey guys, Geoff here. Starting June 10th, we will be open every Sunday from 2 PM until 10 PM.”
Wait–wha? Open a whole other day? Insanity! I hope you guys appreciate that this is going to seriously cut into our sleeping late/drinking too much time.
For those keeping track at home, our new hours are as follows:
2 PM – 12 AM Monday-Friday
4 PM – 12 AM Saturday
2 PM – 10 PM Sunday
Confusing, huh? It’s a good things there are progressive, forward-thinking (and totally unofficial) websites like whenwillbaileysopen.com and isbaileysopen.com to cut through the fog of mystery that surrounds one of the most crucial issues of our time: whether that bar down the street is open or not.
That is, once they get around to updating their websites to reflect this shocking new reality. (Nudge, nudge, hint, hint– C’mon, guys, what’s taking you so long?) Maybe we’ll even get around to eventually updating it on our own website sometime after the apocalypse.
In the meantime, take a page out of preparing for your high school Chemistry exams and scribble it on the palm of your hand.